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2020托福写作低分的5大原因|

时间:2021-10-19 20:33:38  浏览次数:

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托福写作:写作低分的5大原因

致命伤1: 照抄题目,照搬原文

抄的轻的稍微改一个两个词,但是还有真的是一字不改的照抄,怎么抄的呢?

例如有道题的题目是”Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Childrencan benefit in important ways from taking care of a petanimal.“,然后童鞋第一句话真的让人怀疑是不是直接Ctrl C+Ctrl V了。

童鞋第一句话是:”For the question if I agree or disagree with the followingstatement? Children can benefit in important ways from taking care of a petanimal. Well, as far as I am concerned...”

致命伤2: 论据根本不能证明自己的观点

屏幕前的小伙伴请不要嘲笑别人,这个问题实在太普遍了。

有一次一个童鞋在写TPO28的独立题(Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Parents today are more involved in their children's education than parents werein thepast.)时候,第一段是这么写的:“孩子的教育受到重视,孩子的将来也取决于他们的表现,家长们很关心孩子的教育。因此我同意现在的家长比从前更重视参与到孩子的教育中去了。

大家看到这感觉到问题的所在了么,这位童鞋一直在说“现在孩子的教育受到家长重视”,然而这并不能证明“现在的家长比从前更加重视参与到孩子的教育中去了”呀。童鞋们,要切题,要切题呐~~~

致命伤3: 假大空的废话一大堆

如果说上一个致命伤太普遍的话,那这个致命伤真的是太普遍~太普~遍~太~普~普普普~遍~了~~~感受到了老师上一句话有多空旷了吗,是的,就是这种感觉。

其实这个假大空的废话,由于我国的教育制度和语文作文理念多年的根深蒂固,简直就是我国童鞋的硬伤。无论是描述一件事情有多么深远的意义,还是描述一个东西有多么有意思,总是反复不停地说:“这个事情有意义是因为这是多么有意义的一件事”“这个东西是多么的有趣是因为这是一个多么有趣的东西”(此处省略一万字)。

因此,童鞋们,请跟我一起来举例子——“这个东西多么的有趣是因为有一次我带着这个东西出去玩然后……”

致命伤4:
跑题

这类童鞋一定是和咱一样从高中万恶的语文作文开始就发散性思维太严重,有从一开始就跑的,还有走到半路说着说着就跑偏了的。

前两天刚看到一个童鞋交上来的一篇作文中题目是这样的,“Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in anyrelationship between people.”

然后该童鞋在作文中大致思路如是写道:“Always telling thetruth”是不理性的,而TA认为我们应该做一个理性的人,TA自己是理工科的学生,TA觉得理工科的学生更为理性,而文科的学生总是不那么理性……然后就没有然后了,请计算老师收到该作文时的心理阴影面积。

致命伤5: 自相矛盾

出现这个情况的童鞋,和跑题的童鞋写文有着“异曲同工之妙”,跑题的童鞋是要么一开始就跑偏,要么半路跑偏。而自相矛盾的童鞋呢,不是举例子写着写着不知道怎么就矛盾了,就是写到后来写得自相矛盾了的。

有道题:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People todayspend too much time on personal enjoyment—doing things they like to do—ratherthan doing things they should do.

前两天有一位童鞋的作文里面,开头写自己“同意人们现在花太多时间在个人娱乐上”,并且说的也有理有据,说现在的人呐就知道打游戏BLABLA。结果写到后面,不知道肿木了,就写成了现在的人工作压力太大,家庭压力也很大,很多时间都花在了工作、家庭上,很少有时间能娱乐……(难道是触题伤感了?)童鞋们,请一定要坚定自己的立场呐!!

托福写作:题库范文附思路解析

1. What are the best ways of reducing stress? People have different ways ofescaping the stress and difficulties of modern life. Some read; some exercise;others work in their gardens. What do you think are the best ways of reducingstress? Use specific details and examples in your answer. 『分析』[169]给出了答案,选择听音乐,那么这篇作文同时可以应对[169]。

『范文』 With today's hectic schedules, it is necessary to spend some time eachday to relax, and let the stress dissipate from our bodies and minds. Mostpeople find that the working world is quite difficult at times, and need amethod to relax. I find that the best way to relax is to read a good book,because it allows me to escape from real life, it gives me a new perspective onthe world, and reading a book is very peaceful. I find that reading a goodfiction novel is the best way to forget about my troubles during the day. Manyof the books I read have fascinating plot lines, which allow me to be absorbedinto the drama and action. When you are completely captivated with your book,nothing in the outside world seems to exist anymore. Of course, one cannot stayin this dreamland forever, but for an hour or so a day, it is very calming.Reading books can also have the added benefit of increasing my knowledge' andgiving me a new perspective of the outside world. Even a fictional book can havethis effect. When an author writes a book, it is full of his nuances andfeelings about how the world works. By reading these works, I find that Iunderstand more about other people, and how people think. This allows me to bemore accepting of others on a daily basis, and also stops me from building upstress in the first place. Finally, the most important reason as to why readinga book is good for taking care of stress and relaxing, is that it is a verypeaceful activity. You do not need to go anywhere to read a book. You can stayat home, perhaps sit in your favorite chair, and have the house be completelyquiet. Reading does not involve anything but you and your book. Also, if theredoes happen to be noise around you, it is possible to block out that noise onceyou become engrossed in the plot line.

2. Should teachers be paid according to how much their students learn? Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be paidaccording to how much their students learn. Give specific reasons and examplesto support your opinion.

『分析』不能同意。乍看起来(at the firstglance)很有道理。问题在于:教育不是商品。如何保证能够确切地衡量学生究竟学到了多少?学生学到多少,并不是老师一个人的事情,还要看学生自身的素质(quality);能力(capacity)等等。如果采取了这样的方式,就会出现老师迎合(caterto/ pander to/ play up to students' taste)学生而不是引导 (guide; lead)学生,违背了教育的原则。

『范文』 People usually believe that teachers have the most important job inall of society. They raise our children to be forward-thinking, brightindividuals. They ensure that children get along with each other, and learn towork together as a team. As such, being a teacher typically means a stablepaycheck. However, when some people propose that teachers should be paidaccording to how much their students learn, I can hardly agree. First of all,students may not be interested in learning. When students are not interested inlearning, the teacher can hardly be held responsible. The teacher can grade themharshly, keep them in after class, and discipline them severely, but thestudents will still not learn if they do not want to. If the teacher is tryinghis/her best to teach the students, and the information is presented clearly andsuccinctly, he/she can do no better job. Moreover, there is a limit on how mucha child can learn. If a teacher was to be paid according to how much his/herstudents learned, there would be a certain point where he/she could teach themno more. I remember when I was in high school, there would be moments in theyear when I didn't think I could fit any more information into my head. This wasnot my teacher's fault, and the point is that I just was not absorbing thematerial. I think many teachers would find this problem if they were paid by howmuch their students learnt. Most importantly, teachers should not be paidaccording to how much their students learn because some of the lessons that astudent learns cannot be measured by a test. We cannot simply give children atest to discover how much they have learnt in a class. Tests rarely measureone's social skills, one's ability to communicate, or one's ability to integratesuccessfully into the world. However, it is the teachers who help students tomanifest these qualities.

3. The thing representing your country If you were asked to send one thingrepresenting your country to an international exhibition, what would you choose?Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.

『分析』随便选一样东西,比如熊猫、瓷器。

『范文』 If I were to send one thing to an international exhibition thatrepresented my culture, it would be rice. Chinese culture, boasting a lengthyhistory, is composed of numerous sub-cultures. The agricultural way of life,centered around rice, has played a vastly important part in the country'shistory. For thousands of years, the Chinese have been diligently cultivatingtheir land. Blood, sweat and tears have been shed over their soil in the pursuitof favorable harvests. This reliance on the land for so many thousands of yearsaccounts for China's strong rural essence. The need for rice production has ledthe Chinese to pay particular attention to irrigation technologies and improvingcultivation. The agricultural way of life, centered on rice, has had a stronginfluence on the social, economic, political and ideological developments ofancient China. In this sense, traditional Chinese culture may be considered a"rice culture." "A meal without rice," the Chinese say, "is like a beautifulwoman with only one eye." In China, where the word for rice is also the word forfood, young girls are warned that every grain of rice they leave in their bowlswill be a pockmark on the face of their future husbands. Instead of saying, "Howare you?" as a typical greeting, the Chinese ask "Have you had your rice today?"Quitting or losing a job is called "breaking the rice bowl" and it is bad luckto upset a bowl of rice. Rice is also a very important commodity in today'ssociety. It is one of the major exports in China, allowing people all over theworld to take part in something that emanates Chinese culture. Rice remains astaple food for both the rich and the poor, and there is hardly a meal had inour country that does not involve this fine grain. As you can see from theabove-mentioned text, rice is an integral part of Chinese culture and tradition.While Chinese culture is spread over a vast number of arts and crafts, I believethat it is the humble, but profound rice that speaks to us all, and mostpoignantly represents the essence of our culture.

4. Be assigned a roommate, or choose your own roommate? You have been toldthat dormitory rooms at your university must be shared by two students. Wouldyou rather have the university assign a student to share a room with you, orwould you rather choose your own roommate? Use specific reasons and details toexplain your answer.

『分析』陈述学校分配的好处陈述自己选择的好处 (注意,两种方法都有缺点)选择立场。选择让学校分配吧,有更多的话说,还显得自己大度(open-minded and magnanimous)一些。

『范文』 Going to university is an exciting time in a young person's life. Partof the experience is living in the campus dormitory, and it is the first timefor person away from his/her parents, in many cases. If one has to share a roomwith another student, I believe that it is better that the university picks theprospective roommate. When a young person first goes to university, he/she oftenmoves straight to the school from his/her bedroom at his/her parents' house.This usually means that the person has no idea of the qualities necessary to bea good roommate. Perhaps the young person would choose to live with a goodfriend. While this situation could be a very happy one, it could also bedisastrous. Getting along with a friend as a roommate, if not properly handled,could quickly ruin the relationship. If the school picks one's roommate, this isless likely to happen. In many cases, young people travel out of the city theygrew up in to go to university. For many of these students, picking a potentialroommate would be difficult. They know very few people in the new city, letalone at the university. This can lead to very stressful situations. If one istrying to settle into a new environment, but also must find a roommate to livewith, he/she might find the whole experience overwhelming. Finally, I thinkhaving the school choose roommates rather than the individuals is a good ideabecause living with a person you do not know can be a rewarding experience. Astranger can quickly turn into one's best friend, as memories are forged whileliving together in a confined space.

5. Spend money on developing or buying computer technology, or on morebasic needs? Some people think that governments should spend as much money aspossible on developing or buying computer technology. Other people disagree andthink that this money should be spent on more basic needs. Which one of theseopinions do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support youranswer. 参见:[11]、[19]、[95]

『范文』 I believe that governments spend too much money on new computertechnologies, when they should be focusing on the needs or people in theircountries. There are a number of reasons why I think this would be a betterusage of a country's money. Throughout the world, there are millions andmillions of people who are homeless, and cannot afford to eat. These people needhelp from the government. If the government has so much money to spend oncomputer technology, they should easily be able to have enough money to helpthese people gain entry to the working world. The government could set upprograms which allow homeless people to train for jobs. This would be a muchbetter way to spend money than building computers. Pollution is another majorproblem which plagues all of the industrial nations. Instead of spending moneyfrivolously, we should be focusing on how to fix the one we live on. The ozonelayer is getting thinner and thinner every year, which means that the sun'sradiation is causing more damage to people and the environment. The governmentsneed to design a method to drastically reduce pollution. In addition to theproblems of pollution and homelessness, the general population could use themoney as well. In many countries, including our own, the health care andeducation systems leave something to be desired. I think that more money shouldbe put towards making citizens healthier and wiser. With that said, many of theabove disagreements need the help of the computer industry. Computers can helpgovernments to keep track of all of the people they need to take care of, andprograms can be designed which help isolate problems with the environment.Computers are important, as long as a government does not forget to taking careof its people.

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